A Rough Start

Well, ladies... ( I can say that since I don't think there are any men out there who read my blog. You can correct me if I'm wrong, gents!) The day started a bit rough for me. The sermon this morning was all about marriage and being the partner that God wants us to be. It was good and I listened, but by the end I was in tears. It just seemed so unfair that I felt like I was being the wife God wanted me to be and still I'm here on my own. But I do know that I can live without guilt and shame, because I did do my best. It's just hard sometimes. As I looked around during the service I saw so many couples. It made me feel very alone. You have no idea how much I would love to be "held" right now. Not in a sexual way, but in an "I adore you" way. That makes me feel lonely. God created us for companionship, and although I can't tell you enough how much I absolutely adore my friends and family, I miss having the loving embrace of a husband. I miss hearing "I love you" each day. But I do know things will get better. It's just tough sometimes.

I do have a lot to keep my mind busy this week with mid-terms! AHHHH!!!! Actually, I should not even be writing right now, I should be studying! But I really needed to get some of this off of my chest.

I want to share an email forward that I received today from my friend Lisa. I normally don't even read forwards honestly, but I'm really glad I read this one... It was encouraging.

By the time the Lord made woman, He was into his sixth day of working overtime.
An angel appeared and said, 'Why are you spending so much time on this one?'
And the Lord answered, 'Have you seen my spec sheet on her?

She has to be completely washable, but not plastic,
Have over 200 movable parts, all replaceable
And able to run on diet coke and leftovers,
Have a lap that can hold four children at one time,
Have a kiss that can cure anything
from a scraped knee to a broken heart
-and she will do everything with only two hands.'

The angel was astounded at the requirements.
'Only two hands!? No way!
And that's just on the standard model?
That's too much work for one day.
Wait until tomorrow to finish.'

'But I won't, ' the Lord protested.
'I am so close to finishing this creation
that is so close to my own heart.
She already heals herself when she is sick
AND can work 18 hour days.'

The angel moved closer and touched the woman.
'But you have made her so soft, Lord.'

'She is soft,' the Lord agreed,
'but I have also made her tough.
You have no idea what she can endure or accomplish.'
'Will she be able to think?', asked the angel.

The Lord replied,
'Not only will she be able to think,
She will be able to reason and negotiate.'
The angel then noticed something,
And reaching out, touched the woman's cheek.
'Oops, it looks like you have a leak in this model.
I told you that you were trying to put too much into this one.'
'That's not a leak,'The Lord corrected, 'that's a tear!'

'What's the tear for?' the angel asked.

The Lord said, 'The tear is her way of expressing her joy,
Her sorrow, her pain, her disappointment, her love,
Her loneliness, her grief and her pride.'
The angel was impressed.
'You are a genius, Lord.
You thought of everything!
Woman is truly amazing.'

And she is!
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
But they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
And laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take 'no' for an answer
When they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
And cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
Yet they are strong when they think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
To show how much they care about you.

The heart of a woman is what makes the world keep turning.
They bring joy, hope and love.
They have compassion and ideals.
They give moral support to their family and friends.
Women have vital things to say and everything to give

HOWEVER,
IF THERE IS ONE TINY FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Me Again!

Look at that! I'm writing for my 2nd time in a few days time. Whooooo! I rock! Life is good! Last night we had a MOPS mom's night out and met at the church for Scrap and Stamp night - (I actually originally wrote crap and stamp night by accident - aren't you glad I changed it?) (hee-hee) which was really fun! We made cards! So if you get hand-made cards from me sometime, you know where I made them! It was a great night to be out with the ladies! YAY!

You can pray for me as I'm trying to jump back on the "healthy lifestyle" bandwagon! I lost a lot of weight last winter/spring, but stopped losing over the summer and afraid I may be gaining a few pounds back, so I am now officially trying to be healthy again (I don't use the word diet). I just need to incorporate some exercise into my life! Besides climbing the steps to my 3rd floor class every day!

Today, I had the pleasure of seeing two dear friends!!! Amy and Mary Alice, who were good friends in high school! Yay! Amy actually lives down the road from me but our schedules are both so crazy that we almost never see each other. Mary Alice lives in Colorado so it's always a treat to have her home to visit! I haven't seen her since last November! Amy had us over to her house this afternoon and our kids played together while the three of us sat and drank coffee and chatted. Drinking coffee and chatting with friends - that's the best combination in the world to me! :-) We missed our Jen, who is in Florida!

I'm sort of jumping from topic to topic. Hmmm... so does anyone like strawberries? One time I saw a frog. That roller coaster scared me. So she said, Red! Isn't that crazy? That was my demonstration of how I can jump from topic to topic. Also given so that my random paragraphs don't look so bad after all!!!

Well, gotta be going now! Love to you!

Feeling Good Mr. Kotter....!!!

Well folks, it's been a rough few weeks, but I feel like I've finally come to grips with everything (whatever that means) and I'm back to my happy self again!

Thanks to those of you who have been praying for baby Ella! She is doing well and may possibly have been released today from the hospital - maybe it's tomorrow. I'm not sure, but she had an "awakening" on Sunday morning and could suddenly completely breath on her own! 100%! So that's wonderful. I have not had the heart to ask if they know if there was any permanent harm done. So I don't know that. I guess in the future if there are problems, I will find out then. I do pray that there was no lasting damage.

The one thing that's been hard for me, which I'm finally getting over is how Kenneth will text me nearly every day to ask why our divorce is taking so long, and why we can't just be done with it. This has been very painful because I have been very kind and patient and each time I get that text message, I feel like it's just another stab in my back. It's like hearing him say, I don't love you and I can't wait to be done with you. Well - I already know that, so I don't need to keep hearing it over and over. I either don't reply when he does that or just reply with, you need to be talking with your attorney, not me.

Classes are going well. Next week may be different though - I have mid-term exams next week. Not all of the classes are giving actual exams, but I have 2 big exams, and 2 other classes I have big projects due. I'm not very good at retaining information for tests if I start studying too early, so I almost feel that it would be a waste of time to start doing TOO much studying for them yet, although this weekend I will be. I am working on the projects (both due wed) to get them over with. Then I have an exam on Tues night and one on Wed morning. My Tues night class I currently have an a+ in. So I'm hoping to get an a on the exam so I don't mess up that grade!

I am feeling good though! YAY! Although, I have to admit something - I have not had a poison-ivy free day since last May!!! And now I've broken out on my arm again! Go away poison-ivy!!!! I was supposed to go to the doctor on Tuesday this week, but had to reschedule because I had Josie. Hopefully I can make it next Tuesday. I need help!!! ITCHY ITCHY SCRATCHY SCRATCHY!!!!

You know, sometimes a song can make you feel better, in a silly way! I LOVE the song, "I'm Yours" by Jason Mraz. - It's on my little music playlist located to the right on the screen. I don't know what it is about that song but every time I hear it, it makes me happy! I think it just makes me think - maybe someday - YEARS from now - maybe I'll be in love again! (not looking for that right now by the way - don't worry).

Well, I love all of you chickadees, I'm sorry that I've been bad at staying in touch. It's all I can do sometimes to write a post! Please forgive me and know that I love all of my dear friends very much! :-)

Confessions of an Adult College Student

I wish that years ago I would have known how easy it was to get an "A" in a class. It is work, but not as much work as I thought it would be! I guess back then I figured that it would take a lot out of me, so I didn't bother! I was too busy having fun! Although I wouldn't take back any of my fun memories either! ;-)

When I was working with some Kindergartners on Monday this week, I said, "I've heard you have been learning about the letter B this week! Do you think you could write a letter B for me? Maybe a big B and a little B?" - they had both been writing pretty well before that, so I felt like I wasn't asking them to write something that they wouldn't be able to. As I looked at the one girl's paper, she had drawn a picture of a large bumblebee! She said, here is my big bee, should I also draw a little bee? It was soooooo sweet and cute! I was trying not to giggle! Talk about lost in translation!

I must admit I've had a few moments in my classes of "come on, young people!" Which is really funny! These kids are all young and hip, and I felt like I knew more about technology than most of them! On Monday night we met at a local 4th grade class that is total totally around technology. It is like the classroom of the future. Every student has a computer at their desk and they do pretty much all of their work with it. They do tons of global networking projects. They also have a "whiteboard" in the class, which is just the coolest thing. As the teacher was explaining how he uses all of the technology and how in the future teachers may even use cell phones and ipods in their instructions, I was sitting there thinking, how cool! All of the young people around me were looking totally shocked! There was one girl who raised her hand and said, "I'm a music education major and I don't think you can use any technology with music." I wanted to pick up a book and hit her over the head! I hope she never teaches my kids! Hello!!! Keyboards, microphones, recording equipment, electric guitar.... Music. Anyway, I just held my tongue and the teacher did answer with, "I think you need to do more research into your field." I was also only one of two students out of 35 that has a blog! Although I must say that I'm ashamed at how seldom I've been writing in it recently. Believe me - I have had no lack of writing. I'm writing papers constantly!!! I just finished an article review. That was a bit boring.

I do feel as I've been going through my classes that I'm definitely doing the right thing. My only regret is that it's been so long since I've taken other classes in my major that I feel like I'm missing some vital information, and some of my info from before is so out-of-date. I guess I'll know more when I do my student teaching if I'll really be prepared or not. I love teaching. I love creativity and fun and learning and making learning fun! That's the way it should be! YAY!

I'm pretty tired right now. Theo has Grandparent's day tomorrow at school which my dad is taking him to. He was so excited that it took him at least an hour to fall asleep. Josie also did not fall asleep very easily tonight. Silly goose.

I'll leave you tonight with a Josie "original' -

Jesus died on the cross, E-I-E-I-O. With a moo moo here and a moo moo there,
And Jesus was his name-O.