Schoolgirl!

Well, I'm back into the swing of things. Sort of... I've found that I don't feel as motivated as last semester. But no worries - I'm definitely motivated to doing my best. Just not as enthusiastic about it, I guess. Today one of my classes was cancelled, as my professor was ill. It was a nice break, and I probably would have been late to it anyway, so that was a relief! It takes longer than 8 minutes to leave the library and get into my 3rd floor classroom at Mount Memorial. I was a bit panicked about being late, so when I saw a classmate who told me the class was cancelled, I was able to slow down a bit. Phew!

By the way, who ever heard of breaking into small groups for discussion and a short presentation on the first day of class??? My 8:00 am class on Wednesday did this! I didn't really know anyone, but luckily everyone seemed as flustered as I was, and I ended up in a nice group of 5. I felt like the nerdy older student, because I kind of started discussing right away to get the group going.

Okay - here is something I must vent about. There is a lady in one of my classes whom I got to know last semester. She is a few years older than me and really nice, but I think is missing what I like to call "social graces." She's lived on a farm for years and maybe has gotten desensitized to what us "non-farm" people like to hear about. I've heard so many disgusting farm stories, she's lucky I did not vomit on her plaid book bag! So, today we are walking over to the library together. It was nice to have company, although after a few minutes into the conversation, I wished that my company was my ipod. She proceeded to tell me all about how she had gone over to her dad and step mom's to check on their horse who was sick. I will not go much further in the story except to say that I ended up with a (unwanted) description of the horse's autopsy once it had died. Thank the Lord above for fresh, crisp air outside as we walked which kept me from tossing the old cookies! God bless this gal. Apparently she thinks I've got a strong stomach.

Back to School!

Well, after a very long, but nice, Christmas vacation, it is time to go back to school. I start tomorrow and I'm a bit nervous. It's always hard to think about starting over with new classes and profs and students. I was pretty comfortable with my classes last semester, but then it was new and nerve-racking in the beginning too, so I'm sure after a few weeks, this semester will feel normal again. The one nice thing that helped me last semester was knowing two of my professors personally. I do know 4 of my professors this semester, but not quite the way I knew these other two. They made me feel so much more comfortable since I had a friendship with them. I'm also a bit nervous about taking Global Perspectives. This is a Gen Ed class that has been added in the last few years so is now a requirement for graduation. Part of the requirement is a cross-cultural experience, and now they are recommending going overseas for a week or two. That's nice and all, but being a single mom with young kids, I just don't see that happening. My mom thinks they will be flexible with me, so we'll just have to pray that that is the case.

Well, I've gotta run, but wanted to write something today to keep updated! Love you all!

All Over

Well, Tuesday was the final court hearing for the divorce. I guess as far as divorces go, it went pretty well. I've never done it before and never will again, so that's it. That's the last time I'll ever go to court for a divorce. I'm not going to say that I'll never go to court again, because I don't know what the future holds, but I will NOT be going back for another divorce.

It was strange how "easy" getting a divorce was. I guess it's like getting married. It seems like it should be harder to get married. I mean all you do is go to the courthouse and get a license. No one asks you if you a sane, responsible person. Anyone can get married. There should be a session with lie detector tests for each person. That would take care of a lot of problems right there. Because I thought I knew everything about Kenneth when we got married, but soon found out what I knew was a show. An act. I'm not saying every moment of our marriage was terrible, but I can say that I knew what it felt like to be in a loveless marriage after a few years. That's worse than any alone I've ever felt.

You know what is incredibly ironic? In court on Tuesday, the judge came in and had Kenneth and I swear in to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and you know what we had to say in response? I do. Pretty ironic that the words that began our marriage were the same words that ended it.

I have many wonderful friends here, and two of my good friends, Katie & Nicki, wanted to come with the me to the courthouse. Nicki ended up not being able to come. Which was probably a better choice than being arrested for child neglect if she left her children alone in their house. :-) So, good choice, Nicki! Katie came with me and was a total life-saver. I'm so thankful I had a friend with me. When we got to the courthouse waiting room, Kenneth was already there and it was just him and us. Talk about uncomfortable. He never acknowledged me the entire time we were there. Where he was seated, we could either sit and face him or not, so we chose not to face him, of course, but he could watch us and sat and listened to our conversations (which he admitted to me later). But I didn't care. To have such a good friend with me gave me strength and courage. Eventually, at least an hour later, Kenneth's attorney came out and got him and there is no other word to describe this guy than cocky. Okay, I can think of some other words, but I'm trying to keep this clean! ;-) My attorney came out a few minutes later to get me. I'm so blessed that I have such an awesome attorney. She has told me "off the record" more than once that she really likes and me and really really wants the best for me. That's a good feeling. She was very professional and took charge of everything.

I didn't have to say much, except of course, I do. But I also had to say out loud that I did not contest the divorce that Kenneth filed for. They asked me if I thought this decision was in my best interest and I said that it was. Kenneth looked incredibly depressed and sad the whole time. I didn't feel sorry for him, because this was his choice, but I was glad that he at least felt the seriousness of the situation.

When it was over, I felt relief and freedom mixed with sadness. Not necessarily sadness over Kenneth, but where my life had led to. The day was surreal. A day I never, in all my life, thought I'd see. So here I am, a divorcee'. A title I never thought I'd have. (Doesn't it sound kind of risque'? - I'm scandalous)

Moving on, I really just wanted to write all that down because I needed to, but honestly and truly, I am happy. I'm relieved it's over and feel like I can more easily move on with my life. I'm excited about what's out there ahead of me! Graduating from college, watching my children grow in God, building a house of my own, getting a teaching job, and maybe finding love. Who knows that the future holds? Only God. I'm just going to keep trusting Him to keep holding me in His hands.

Happy New Year!

Here's to 2009! A much better year than 2008! I am looking forward to school starting again, believe it or not. I am feeling very tired of being around the house so much! I need interaction! And so do the kiddos! I've been doing some re-organizing and a lot of reading. I'm a bit obsessed with the Twilight book series. They are so well-written and totally pull you in. I purposefully did not start reading them until vacation.

Well, I'll have more to update later this week, but there is a current date of this coming Tuesday, January 6th @ 2:00 pm as the final date for the divorce. I have to go to court that day, but my attorney thinks it will pretty much just be deliberation, so I'm not too nervous. Honestly, it's been so over for so long that it almost seems strange to have to go to court. I've moved on. It's like an after thought!

Well, I don't have much to say right now, but I'll try to write more soon!
Happy New Year!