Evil Tongues

"No man can tame the tongue. It is an unruly evil, full of deadly poison. With is we bless our God and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in the similitude of God. Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing. My brethren, these things ought not to be so. Does a spring send forth fresh water and bitter from the same opening? Can a fig tree, my brethren, bear olives, or a grapevine bear figs? Thus no spring yields salt water and fresh." - James 8-12.

The tongue truly is evil and is used for evil. Unfortunately this is something that I think we all struggle with. I'm extra convicted by the part of the passage that says, "Out of the same mouth proceed blessing and cursing." How can we say we love God, and yet speak so unloving to each other? I'm speaking to me here, too! I want my tongue to be used for blessing. Not cursing. What a convicting passage.

I've had a hard day today again and really wanted to come and write some terrible things down, but God pointed out this verse to me instead. Of course, I was initially thinking, "Yes, God! Kenneth HAS been blessing and cursing with his tongue!" - but then I heard His voice say, Cathy, this passage was for you! So I'm just going to say nothing tonight because I can't think of anything nice to say. I think instead I'm just going to get a good night's sleep. Good Night!

Memories...

I must say that it is still a challenge to sit through church. This morning was good, it truly was, and I sat next to my friend Nicki which was great. During worship, I got a bit overwhelmed a few times, especially during a song, that now I can't remember for the life of me, but it had to do with God never leaving us and protecting us from evil, and I kept thinking, how did Kenneth turn into my enemy? I've had so many memories go through my head today of the good times. How could he betray us this way? How could he betray me? I was always so supportive and kind and patient. I wasn't perfect and never claimed to be, but I still don't understand how it got to this point. My heart hurts today. I was thinking today that if our divorce is final on June 3rd, that would be almost exactly one year after our move to Indiana. We had such hope for the future. So excited at the next season in our lives together. It's just so bizarre to me that he now has hopes and plans with someone else. That's overwhelming to me. How can he just leave without a second thought? I don't understand. My heart has had a tough day.

First Court Date

Yesterday morning was my first court hearing. Apparently they don't make you go before a judge unless you request it or you come to an impasse in negotiation. I arrived at 8:45 am and when I got there Kenneth was already there. He did not acknowledge me and sat there looking at his laptop. We were both sitting in the waiting room and I just kept thinking how crazy it all was. A year ago we were living in Tennessee getting ready to put our house on the market and everything was okay and here we were yesterday sitting in the courthouse in the same waiting room and he couldn't or wouldn't even look at me! The more I thought about that, the more it was hard not to tear up. I was so nervous and kept praying and repeating Psalm 121 over and over in my head. Then I starting singing a song in my head from Veggie Tales! I'm sure when they wrote that song they never thought it would give a grown woman strength through her divorce! It's from Esther and it goes, "The battle is not ours. We look to God above. For He will guide us safely through and guard us with His love. I will not be afraid. I will not run and hide, for there is nothing I can't face when God is on my side." That song really helped me. I sat up a bit straighter knowing that God truly is on my side. If anyone should have been nervous, it should have been Kenneth, not me.

So anyway, Kenneth's lawyer came out and called him back to a room and then later my lawyer came out and called me back to a room and basically we just went back and forth with them coming up with a paper that he signed with a child support number, and then I came up with some other money issues which she wrote up and took to his lawyer. Apparently that really ticked him off and he wouldn't sign off on it, so we have some more negotiating to do. I just need to get some paperwork together for proof. Anyway, it was definitely interesting. You want to know the craziest part? The lawyers went ahead and scheduled the final hearing for June 3rd which means that on June 3rd, Kenneth & I will be officially divorced. I can't believe that. It's only 2 months away! It seems crazy that it would take that short of time. So I have to try to think of everything I can and document everything I can so that we will be settled by then. Anyway, thank you all for your prayers. It is very overwhelming. And very sad. I'm seeing even more of the true colors, which are not so pretty and that makes me sad. I can't imagine how sad it must make God!

Wanted to type out Psalm 121 (it's one of my favorites):
"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth!
He will not let you stumble and fall; the One who watches over you will not sleep.
Indeed, He who watches over Israel never tires and never sleeps.
The Lord Himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever."

Theo's Infomercial

I'm not sure that Theo has seen many infomercials, but he certainly knew how to put one on today! He has decided this week that he wants to be a toymaker and came up with his first product, Stegosaurus Mountain. This is something he created and designed all on his own. He is always coming up with some sort of project, but usually does not try to market it to anyone! ;-) This is a little long, but very cute, and worth your time to watch! He is such a funny and creative little man! (And a darned good salesman!)

Four Things

My friend Kerry sent an email with these, and I thought - maybe I'll post my answers!

Four jobs I have had in my life: "Waitress" at a buffet, Nanny for the family from hell (oops), Manager of Video Promotions (sounds more impressive than it was), Executive Assistant

Four movies I've watched more than once: Never Been Kissed, Sliding Doors, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (it's merely a flesh wound), Flushed Away (kids favorite that I've seen a million times!)

Four Places I have lived: Warsaw, IN; Woodcliff Lake, NJ; Antioch, TN; Franklin, TN

Four T.V. Shows that I watch: Cold Case, Pushing Daisies, The Office, Law & Order: Criminal Intent

Four places I have been: Hawaii; London, England; St. John; South Dakota ;-)

Four Favorite Foods: Chicken Burritos from Blue Coast Burrito, Really Good Guacamole, Any Breakfast Casserole, Mongolian BBQ

Four Places I would like to visit: Venice, Italy; Rome, Italy; Greece; Egypt

Four things I am looking forward to in the coming year: Not really looking forward to it, but knowing that it's happening - Getting my divorce finalized so that I can get it over with!; Some visits to Tennessee; Starting school in the fall; Continue getting into shape!

Myers-Briggs

At MOPS yesterday we had a great guy come and speak on personalities and understanding them and he covered the Myers-Briggs personality test. I think to do this test online there is a fee, but I found another similar one that used the same terminology online. Here is the link if anyone wants to check it out. It is free:

http://similarminds.com/jung.html

I'm curious what my friends results are, so if you feel comfortable posting them in my comments, I that would be fun.

I'm an: ENFP (Extrovert, Intuitive, Feeling, Perceiving)!

The D Word

Psalm 33:18-22:
"But the eyes of the Lord are on those who fear Him, on those whose hope is in His unfailing love, to deliver them from death and keep them alive in famine. We wait in hope for the Lord; He is our help and our shield. In Him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in His holy name. May Your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, ever as we put our hope in You."

Well, yesterday I returned a call to my attorney that I missed. Our provisional court hearing is this Friday morning, so I assumed she was calling me about that, but as we spoke she had called to let me know that Kenneth had filed for divorce. Actually, now divorce is called Disillusion Of Marriage. Like that sounds better or something. Well, I was expecting him to do that, quite honestly, but even when you are expecting news like this, it is still not something you ever expect to hear. Does that make sense? I don't know how to explain it, but I felt a very mixed feeling. Sadness that it came to this point, and because I never wanted or expected to be divorced, and relief that I am not the one who had to make that decision, and that it happened quickly enough that it will not be dragged out forever. I had been praying all along that he would make his decision, either way, and just go through with it so that I don't have to live in limbo. She expects that I will be served on Friday while I am there, and as soon as the paperwork goes through the court, our separation will automatically be turned into a divorce whether I approve or not. So there you go. That's the news. I honestly feel a bit numb about the whole thing right now. I got a little teary yesterday thinking about it but have not really cried nor am I out throwing a party! One of the books I've been reading goes through the five stages of grief as it pertains to divorce and in a way, I feel like I have reached the end. The last stage is acceptance, and I do accept that this is what is happening. I do have days that I go back and visit other stages. Although I don't think I'll ever take a vacation to the first stage again, which is shock. I probably shouldn't say this, but I don't think anything that he could do or say would shock me right now. I have prepared myself for all possibilities of things I may still hear. Short of him telling me that he was really born a woman and had a sex-change. That may shock me! :-)

Well, thanks to all for your love, support, and prayers, and for walking along this journey with me. I'll be keeping you updated!

Milli Vanilli

Josie thinks it's very funny to lip synch to music and videos, but her favorite thing to lip synch to is her talking Snow White doll! She does this all of the time, so I had her do it for the camera today!

Easter Photos!

Well, we attempted to take some nice Easter photos while everyone was dressed up. These were the nicest of the options. It seemed like in every photo one of the kids was making a strange face, so these were the best ones. Poor Josie girl was crying the first half of photo taking because her foot hurt so Grammy took off her tights and found a splinter and took it out. She was much happier, but after these pictures were taken she started crying about her foot some more and after looking closely, there was still a huge piece of splinter way under the skin on the bottom of her foot! Poor baby! But with some tweezers, some hydrogen peroxide and the light of the sun, I was able to get it out. I felt so sorry for her. I know that had to hurt! She was a trooper though. Very brave!

A Few Easter Moments...

Here are some pictures of our day! Theo helped Granddad make his holiday mashed potatoes! Yummy! Our friend Sue was kind enough to spend time playing with Josie after dinner and they colored together at the table. Darren brought his Playstation over so that Theo could play Lego Star Wars so they sat and played that for a while! Theo had a blast! Josie and Aunt Nora hanging out together! Yay!

Coloring Easter Eggs

The kids really loved coloring Easter eggs and the only dissapointment was that it went too quickly! Next year we'll have to get more eggs! ;-)

Happy Resurrection Day!

What a wonderful Easter day it was. The service this morning was great and I was able to sit and enjoy it all without sadness. After the service we had a delicious meal with family and friends. Theo & Josie enjoyed their Easter baskets and later we had a Easter egg hunt. Very fun. And to cap it all off, tonight on Masterpiece on PBS was a new version of Jane Austen's "Emma." I adore that movie, and admit I was skeptical of a new version, but it was excellent and I enjoyed it very much! I must download some pictures of our day soon so that I can share them. Hope you all had a blessed day!

I Love This Song...

Since I can't figure out how to add actual songs and music to my blog, I wanted to at least write down the lyrics of the song, "God With Us" by MercyMe. I just absolutely love this song and this is one that I blast and sing along with at the top of my lungs as I drive around town...

"Who are we, that You would be mindful of us?
What do You see that's worth looking our way?
We are free in ways that we never should be
Sweet release from the grip of these chains
Like hinges straining from the weight, my heart no longer can keep from singing!

All that is within me cries!
For You alone be glorified, Emmanuel! God with us!
My heart sings a brand new song!
The debt is paid. The chains are gone, Emmanuel! God with us!

Lord You know our hearts don't deserve Your glory.
Still You show a love we cannot afford!
Like hinges straining from the weight, my heart no longer can keep from singing!

All that is within me cries!
For You alone be glorified, Emmanuel! God with us!
My heart sings a brand new song!
The debt is paid. The chains are gone, Emmanuel! God with us!

Such a tiny offering compared to Calvary, nevertheless, we lay it at Your feet!

All that is within me cries!
For You alone be glorified, Emmanuel! God with us!
My heart sings a brand new song!
The debt is paid. The chains are gone, Emmanuel! God with us!"

If you haven't heard this song, you need to! I know you would love it too!

I'm Dreaming Of A White Easter

We woke up this morning to fresh snow! Crazy! Although actually this afternoon it got up to 37 degrees and much of it melted. Well, thanks for praying about swim lessons at the Y this morning. Apparently it took Kenneth 20-30 minutes to scrape his car off this morning and he missed swim lessons! Oh well! No drama for mama! ;-) After swim lessons we went to my house and packed some more. It is almost completely empty now. Yay! We just completed dyeing Easter eggs, so I will have to post those pictures later! It's been a pretty good day!

Another Night Out!

YAY! Tonight we had an awesome babysitter come to stay with the kiddos, and not only an awesome babysitter, but an awesome friends, awesome daughter! ;-) And us grown-up folk went out for some grown-up eating! When my dad had asked where I'd like to go for dinner, I said, Any place that does not offer a happy meal! ;-) So, my mom, my dad, and my Aunt Nora went to Ft. Wayne tonight to a restaurant called Cork & Cleaver. It was very yummy and great to be out without the kids again. The funny thing about this place is that the menu is actually printed on a real, and quite heavy, cleaver! They plopped this huge knife down in front of me, and then we passed it around the table! Very funny. They must have good insurance at this restaurant because I could only imagine all of the opportunities for someone to get hurt by their menu! After dinner we stopped quickly at the mall to run into JCPenney and look for comforter sets for my room and for my parents room. They are wanting to re-do their room now too! And then headed over to my favorite store, Target! Ahhhh. Target. I love that place! I got a shirt for Theo to wear on Easter, and Josie's Easter gift. I already got Theo's Easter gift which he accidentally found today! Bummer! He was very apologetic, which made me feel bad because he felt so bad about it. He's a sweetie! Well, I'm going to bed now! Good Night!

I'm Beginning To Despise The YMCA

It seems that lately each time I go the the Y, I have yet another lovely encounter with a certain someone. I know that I may see him when I go, and if it weren't for the fact that the kids really get excited to see him, I might despise it even more. Alright, I will not be holding the YMCA accountable for my ill feelings. Don't worry. I know whom they are aimed at!!! Anyway, the good news is that in the end, Kenneth did pick up the kids at around 4:00 today to spend the night. It had been two weeks, and they were craving time with him, so I am really glad they got to go. Not to mention that it gives me a bit of a break! My mom and I had dinner out tonight at, drum roll please, Bob Evans! Jealous? I think so! I did have a lovely omelet though. I do love a good omelet. That is something that can be said of me! Anyway, I did go and wander around Pier 1 for a while and actually found a few things I really liked. I'm not in the market for too many home decor items right now, but found many lovely things for the future. I suppose if I miss my furniture too much I could go and set up a mock living room in my Aunt Nora's basement, since that is where my furniture is being stored. But actually, I am getting to decorate my bedroom here at my parents house. And I've been decorating the kids room. Just got in a lovely painting for their room from "The Land Of Nod". I absolutely love that store! They have the cutest kids stuff. While the kids and I visit Tennessee in a few weeks, my room here will be totally refinished. A crew is coming to strip the lovely pink flowered wallpaper and paint the walls the color of my choice and another crew will be coming in to rip out the lovely pink carpet and it will be replaced with a lovely beige-y brown. YAY! Well, I really need to go to bed now. Thanks for reading!!! Pray that I make it through another round at the Y on Saturday! (I really need to work on getting their lessons all on one day instead of three so I can get it over with!!!)

My Children...Fashion Designers...

These kids pick out the darnedest clothes! Theo is obsessed with "army guy" stuff and pulled this outfit together by himself! I just got the army helicopter t-shirt for him last weekend at a consignment sale. When I saw it I said, "Now that is Theo!" Josie also put her ensemble together all by herself! Notice the lovely one huge blue mitten, and the one gentile pink mitten. Also wanted to post these pictures to let everyone see how talented my friends are! The hat that Theo is wearing was knitted for him by Dawn, and the scarf Josie is wearing was knitted for me by Karin! Lovely, ladies, lovely!

Fun Photos!

Yay! Painting time! Since we've been living with my folks, I've not really let the kids do as many art projects as I would at our old houses. It makes me too nervous!!! But with lots of newspaper and some old towels, we made it work! They were so excited to paint and worked on many masterpieces!

Made It Through Another Weekend!

Here we are, Monday! Most people look forward to their weekends, and while there are parts of the weekends that I look forward to, weekends are usually especially hard for me. Weekends to me should be family time and it's just a reminder to me how my family has changed. Although we do still have family time, just with my parents, but obviously, this isn't exactly what I had planned for this stage in my life. Church is always a bit emotional for me. Worship is an emotional time and as I sit in church and let my guard down and look around, I always struggle to hold it together. So much of my church experience over the last 10 years has included Kenneth, so his absence there is so much more obvious to me. Each week I pray that I will not cry. Although I don't think there is anything wrong with crying in church, honestly, I just don't feel like I want any extra attention right now. I know I'm just being paranoid, but I often feel like people are looking at me and feeling sorry for me, and I just don't want that. Anyway, I am very grateful for my church here. My kids LOVE to go to their classes and each child came home this Sunday with a gift from their children's church leader! Not from the church, the leaders personally give them gifts! They did this at Christmas too, and now that it's Easter, they are doing it again! It truly feels like they are investing in my children's spiritual lives and I SO appreciate that! They are well loved! I met my friend Katie today at McDonald's with all of the kiddos and I always look forward to time with her. She is such a great friend and so encouraging and supportive!

I also wanted to say a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Karin and Dawn! Karin's birthday was on Saturday and I didn't post that day so I missed it, but today is Dawn's birthday and I just wanted to say that I love you girls very much and miss your happy shining faces! Love you!!!

I really wanted to say to everyone that I totally appreciate your encouraging words and comments, your support and your prayers! Some days I feel like I would not have gotten through without you! THANK YOU!

Wanted to share this Bible passage: "Lord, how they have increased who trouble me! Many are they who rise up against me. Many are they who say of me, 'There is no help for him in God.' But You, O Lord, are a shield for me, My glory and the One who lifts up my head. I cried to the Lord with my voice, and He heard me from His holy hill." - Psalm 3:1-4

I know this is a long post, but wanted to share that passage because this morning was rough for me too. Kenneth sometimes comes to the kids classes at the Y and this morning was Josie's gymnastics class. When I pulled in, Kenneth pulled in and I had to pass his car to get into the Y. In the front seat of the car was a huge gift all ready for a girl. A big flowery bag with pretty tissue paper and all. That broke my heart just a bit. It's hard to know that your husband is buying another girl a gift. Not that I don't know that a lot of things are happening, but it was a visual reminder of his unfaithfulness and his unlove for me. And if you only knew how few gifts I ever received from him and the few I received had so little thought put into them, and only on Christmas, and occasionally my birthday did I receive any gift from him, so for him to put thought and energy into buying a gift for someone else is basically a stab in the back. It was hard to look at him. And it stunk even more because he normally gives me child support on Mondays, but today said that he was short on cash and couldn't pay me today. I kept thinking, I'm sure if you returned that gift that you would have money for your kids this week. But, God again helped me survive and as I cried out to Him for help, He supplied my need! God truly is my Shield, my Strong Tower, my Shelter in a time of need! Thanks, God!

Life Is Okay!

There is nothing like being outside to lift your spirits. For the second day in a row the kids and I have been outside for at least 2 hours of the day. We've been playing in the sandbox, and playing on the swing set, picking up sticks in the backyard (that sounds kind of funny - but the kids really love to do that, and it helps clean up the yard), and today we went for a ride on the Gator! It was great to get some fresh air, and was so cute today to hear the kids laughing so hard while I was pushing them on the swings. Sometime I'll have to video tape them just so I can share the laughter with everyone! I also wished I had videotaped Josie in particular jumping in puddles. Isn't that the ultimate kid experience? Both kids were wearing boots and old pants, so I didn't care that they ended up getting muddy! They love to be outside, and I totally enjoyed it myself! Tonight I met my friend Carrie for coffee, and we chatted for hours. I always enjoy catching up with her and the time flies by way too quickly! I look forward to our next gathering, Carrie! It was also lovely to come home and the kids were already sound asleep in their little beds. Bedtime has always been a struggle for my kiddos, so anytime that I don't have to be responsible for getting them to bed is a total blessing to me!!! Thanks, Grammy! I must say that the second half of my day was great, since this morning I went to Wal-mart with Josie where she had a total breakdown and freaked out because apparently she wanted me to try on shoes! ??? Anyway, I had to abandon my cart and leave Wal-Mart with her kicking and screaming, because she didn't want to go, but I do believe she learned her lesson, because after she calmed down, she apologized to me without me ever having to make her. She loves to go to Wal-Mart and was very, very sad that we did not stay longer. I was just thankful that God allowed me to keep my cool. Those situations can be VERY frustrating! Thanks, God!

On a side note...

I just had to share this with someone. My mouse sounds like Darth Vader's light saber each time I move it around. It's been making me laugh all evening, and I just wanted to tell someone. Okay, I feel better now. I may not be laughing if it's making that noise because it's going to blow up or something!

Ahhh...

Feeling better guys. Still a bit angry, but was able to not let it get to me too much. You know what always helps? A good worship song! As the kids and I were driving around today for gymnastics, school, and grocery shopping, I blasted (well, as loud as you blast music with 2 small kids in the car) my favorite worship CD, which is actually a kids gospel worship CD. All of the songs are totally upbeat and totally bring my heart to praise God! Love them! Theo's favorite song on there is "Dance Like David Danced", which I love too, but my favorite today was "Jubilee"! Jubilee, Oh Jubilee! Hallelu, we've been set free!!! Jubilee, Oh Jubilee, sing a song of liberty! Anyway, I love that song and sang my little heart out as I was driving around Warsaw, IN with the sun shining!!! That does my soul good! ;-) One of the other things I love about this CD is that while there are some adults singing with the kids, the main voices are children, lifting their praises to the Lord! I don't know if you've ever seen a child truly praise God without abandon, but there is nothing like it! Children have so much freedom in their worship! How I wish I could worship with the freedom that they do! Ahhhh....

I'm Angry

Well, it sounds like we are postponed for two weeks. I wish I knew more about the whole legal process. I'm clueless, but everytime I ask my lawyer a question, I pay well for it, so I try to keep my questions to a minimum. Okay, today has been a good and bad day for me so far. Good in the sense that I feel good, the sun is shining, it's 50 degrees outside, which is the warmest it's been this year, and my children are happy. Bad in the sense that I woke up feeling very angry this morning. Angry at Kenneth for how he has chosen to drastically change my life and the life of our kids. It's okay to be angry now and then, right? I will not allow myself to stay here in an angry place because it's not healthy, but can I just be angry now and then? Ephesians 4:26-27 says, "Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil." There you go. I will not give the devil a foothold in my life, but I will allow myself to be angry for a bit today!!! Then I will let it go!

Possibly Postponed

Well, I just got a call from my lawyer that the mediation on Friday morning may be postponed. Apparently Kenneth's lawyer put in for a continuance because he will be out of town, and my lawyer thinks it will be granted. There is a part of me that is disappointed because I just want to get it over with, and there is a part of me that is relieved that I don't have to deal with it this week. Anyway, I guess just pray for God's will in the situation, and for peace for me. I will know more tomorrow!

A Morning at MOPS

Hello! We had MOPS this morning. YAY! For those of you who don't know, MOPS stands for Mother of Preschoolers, and is a lifesaver! We go two Tuesdays a month and there is childcare where our children are loved and cared for, and yummy breakfast, and great fellowship and we always learn something new about raising kids or taking care of our homes. Today our Pastor and his wife spoke about the Love & Respect book that I mentioned in another blog. It was a really good session, and I learned even more about how deeply women need love and men need respect. I'm a discussion group leader at our MOPS and I love it! I feel so blessed that I was asked to take on this responsibility, although I feel like I could definitely be doing more in my role. I love the ladies in my group. They are so kind and friendly and I have loved getting to know them. They are truly ladies I would not know if it wasn't for this great opportunity. Today I ate way too much of the yummy breakfast. Breakfast foods are my favorite foods to eat and to make! Our group was in charge of the food today and I tried my friend Katie's yummy recipes for a Cheese Danish Casserole. It was very easy to make and was so delicious!!! This may be my new favorite breakfast casserole.

For those of you who don't know, I have been babysitting for the last month for 3 boys, and today was my last day! YAY!!! It went fine, but I'm sure happy to be getting back into a normal routine with my 2 kiddos and have more freedom to run errands and see friends during the week! Playdate, anyone?

Please be in prayer for me for Friday morning. Kenneth & I have our first court date at 9:00 am. It is a mediation, which in my uneducated legal knowledge basically means that we will be sitting down with our lawyers (mine is a shark, by the way) and coming to an agreement on child support, child visitation, and who pays for what debt, that sort of thing. Anyway, I'm getting nervous thinking about it. Please pray that this week goes quickly so that I can just get it over with!

Hmmm...

You know what? I really don't have much to say today! We are all healthy, and things are pretty quiet right now! So, should I write in a blog to say, I don't have much to say? Why not! Hope everyone out there is well! I will say that this time change is really throwing me off. When my alarm went off this morning at 7:05, I almost cried! It was pitch dark outside! I didn't enjoy that very much. But that's all I can complain about right now! ;-) Tomorrow is MOPS, and I love going to MOPS. So maybe I'll have more to write about tomorrow! Until then, so long!

On To The Stomach Flu...

Okay, apparently we hadn't covered all of the flu this week, so this morning I woke up to Theo coming into my room at 2:45 and telling me he'd thrown up in his bed. Thank the Lord for waterproof mattress covers! I stripped his bed and threw it in the wash, and washed him up, and then he wanted to sleep with Granddad. So I did not sleep well for the rest of the night because I was just waiting for him to throw up in Granddad's bed. Finally, I got up at 7:30 or so and Theo was up and watching cartoons. I brought him a "bucket" in case he needed to throw up, which he promptly used. So since then, he's been throwing up all day! The poor baby! I feel so sorry for him, and he's just such a trooper. He handles being sick much better than I ever did. I think I cried every time I threw up when I was young, but he hasn't cried once! Luckily, Josie has seemed fine today - she did sleep in until 10:00 am! That was unusual! Unfortunately, Theo had a big day planned today, including swim lessons and a very exciting birthday party for his friend Wesley. He handled not being able to go very well. I'm so proud of him. I know he's disappointed, but he's handling it so well. I, unfortunately, also woke up with some sort of stomach bug, but feel better now than I did this morning. My poor dad has made so many trips to the grocery store over the last week to get supplies for us! Today he was sent out for saltines, 7up, and coke. I had a chance last night to meet my friend Amy at Ruby Tuesday for supper! YAY! We had such a good time together and it was great to catch up with her. She is getting ready to go to Ethiopia next Saturday to pick up their second child that they are adopting from there. Helina (not sure if I'm spelling it correctly) will be 5 in May, and she sounds adorable! My mom comes back from England tomorrow night and I'm praying that I will be able to clean the house all spic and span before she gets back! I had planned to clean today, but that is just not happening!

A Night To Myself

Well, Kenneth has the kids tonight. Actually he picked them up at around lunchtime, but I still had to babysit until 3:15. But after that, I was a free woman! I really didn't know what to do with so much time to myself, so I drove to Ft. Wayne and did some shopping. I think the shop I miss going to in TN the most is Target, so I was happy to spend at least an hour browsing around at Target tonight! It was great to go and not hear begging the entire time to go to the toy aisles! I must admit though, that I'm not used to so much quiet time. It was great, but the drive there and back at times got a bit too quiet, and I was left with my thoughts. I prayed a bit to get my head cleared because being left alone with my thoughts can be a scary thing for me right now. Then there are the songs on the radio. At one point, I realized the song was, "Now that you're gone, all that's left is a band of gold. All that's left of the dream I hold, is a band of gold" - Now that one actually made me laugh for some reason. But then there were some depressing ones too. I usually only listen to the Christian stations in the car, but apparently my favorite one is not based out of Ft. Wayne, because the closer I got to Ft. Wayne, the worse my station got! Anyway, not exactly a good night for hearing depressing songs. But I did really enjoy myself! After I got back into town I did some grocery shopping, where I bought myself a magazine! (You'd be proud of me, Bethany!) So after I pick up all of the toys in the house, I'm going to curl up with my magazine and relax! Au Revoire! (did I spell that correctly?)

Theo's Many Characters

Theo got some "Incredibles" jammies for Christmas this year, and of course, he had to pose like Dash for the pictures! Honestly, I almost feel bad about putting up the one picture with Josie in the princess costume over her jammies. She is making the goofiest face! But boy do I love that girl! Okay - over Christmas Granddad introduced Theo to The Lone Ranger. He watched several episodes and luckily we were able to finagle a costume with items from around the house! Theo is a perfectionist when it comes to dressing a part, and usually will not dress up or play something if he feels that he is not representing it well! Which can be a bit frustrating. I feel like we have gloves in every shade they come in so that we can be prepared for each and every character that comes along! You want capes, we've got em. You need hats? Say no more! Masks? Sure, come on down. We have a vast array!!!! Did I mention Theo likes to dress up as different characters?

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year...

Okay - These pictures of snow aren't from today. They are from a brilliant ice/snow storm we had back in January. But I never got a chance to post them, and I LOVE these pictures, so just be dazzled. The pictures honestly don't do the snow justice. It was literally like driving/walking in a fairy tale. Breathtaking! And at a time where I so needed to see God's beauty! ;-)

My Josie Girl

I haven't put very many pictures up of my fiery little daughter! I took a few cute pictures of her today and one from the other day. This little girl loves puzzles right now and says a lot of very cute things. The other day I heard her say to Granddad, "Granddad, can you ask me a favor?" He said, okay, what favor am I asking you? She said, "Could you take me to Chuck E. Cheese?" This little girl asks just about every day when she's going to Chuck E. Cheese. She almost never goes there, but is in love with it and talks about it constantly. It doesn't help that half of the shows she watches on PBS are sponsored by Chuck E. Cheese, so she gets a daily reminder when she watches her little programs. Josie has 2 quirky things you must know about her. She has an ear fetish. She loves to touch people's ears. She HAS to feel your ear if you are laying down with her at night. She also has a thing about smelling everything. She smells EVERYTHING! She smells every food before she eats it and pretty much everything new she encounters she asks, "Can I smell that?" Oh well. At least she doesn't have to put everything in her mouth.

God Refines Us

Okay, sweet Rachel posted this under my comments when I was having a tough day, and it was so good, I wanted to share it with everyone, so I'm copying it for today:

Malachi 3:3 says: "He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver." This verse puzzled some women in a Bible study and they wondered what this statement meant about the character and nature of God. One of the women offered to find out the process of refining silver and get back to the group at their next Bible Study. That week, the woman called a silversmith and made an appointment to watch him at work. She didn't mention anything about the reason for her interest beyond her curiosity about the process of refining silver. As she watched the silversmith, he held a piece of silver over the fire and let it heat up. He explained that in refining silver, one needed to hold the silver in the middle of the fire where the flames were hottest as to burn away all the impurities. The woman thought about God holding us in such a hot spot; then she thought again about the verse that says: "He sits as a refiner and purifier of silver." She asked the silversmith if it was true that he had to sit there in front of the fire the whole time the silver was being refined. The man answered that yes, he not only had to sit there holding the silver, but he had to keep his eyes on the silver the entire time it was in the fire. If the silver was left a moment too long in the flames, it would be destroyed. The woman was silent for a moment. Then she asked the silversmith, "How do you know when the silver is fully refined?" He smiled at her and answered, "Oh, that's easy -- when I see my image in it" If today you are feeling the heat of the fire, remember that God has his eye on you and will keep watching you until He sees His image in you.

Boys Will Be Boys

My funny little Theo is all boy. There is nothing he loves more than being outside and getting filthy. Today after he and granddad spent some quality time in the "big woods" he wanted to play by himself in the backyard. For those of you who don't know, my parents used to own a large nursery and landscaping business on our back property. Most of the evidence of this is now gone, but the buildings are still there, and the first building, which used to be the store, is now a group home for cats. Not necessarily friendly cats, mind you. They won't come to anyone but my mom. Except for maybe Scaredy cat, who was wrongly named. She's the least Scaredy of them all. Okay, anyway, Theo was out back playing and spent the first amount of time jumping in puddles. Then later we couldn't find him. My dad started calling for him and out he came from the kitty cat house. This building is FILTHY! So when he came running up to the house I was grossed out and had already planned to immediately throw his snow pants and coat in the washer. When he came in, while I was getting his coat and pants off I asked him what he was doing out there. He told me that he was cleaning their litter boxes! I think I threw up a bit in my throat! GROSS!!! I said, "Oh Theo, please don't touch their litter boxes again - that stuff can make you sick." Then I noticed cat poop on his boots and pants! I stripped him down and threw everything in the washer and told him to wash up. You know what he said? He wanted to make that building into a church and didn't think there should be cat poop in a church! I said, who's going to be the pastor of the kitty cat church, Harlequin? (A cat from the home.) And he said, "Oh no, mom. It will be a real church. That way we could go there whenever we wanted. And people could come to our building to worship God!" How could you argue with that?

Tough Morning!

I'm having a tough morning today. I can't seem to stop the tears from flowing. As my friend Michelle put it, it's like I've had a death, since the man I loved is no more and has been replaced with a stranger. Most days I'm able to see the positives in my life, but I'm feeling the need to just mourn my losses today. Not just for me, but for the sake of my children. How unfair it is to them that their daddy would rather think of himself instead of them. Parents are supposed to sacrifice for their children. It truly saddens me. Pray for me. I need extra strength today.

Feeling Better!

Thanks for the prayers! I'm feeling a bit better now. My sweet little Theo boy has been taking good care of me. He keeps trying to cover me up with blankets and wants to scratch my back. Yesterday he was even singing lullabies to me! Josie on the other hand has been jumping on me and climbing all over me. Nothing new there, though. She's my little spitfire! Josie does have her sweet side though, she snuggled with me for a long time today saying, "I love you too, mama". She never just says I love you. She always says, I love you too! Cute! My mom left for England yesterday. She takes a group of students there most years for spring break. Josie keeps asking, "Where's Grammy?" every 10 minutes or so. This may be a long week. She loves her Grammy!