All Over

Well, Tuesday was the final court hearing for the divorce. I guess as far as divorces go, it went pretty well. I've never done it before and never will again, so that's it. That's the last time I'll ever go to court for a divorce. I'm not going to say that I'll never go to court again, because I don't know what the future holds, but I will NOT be going back for another divorce.

It was strange how "easy" getting a divorce was. I guess it's like getting married. It seems like it should be harder to get married. I mean all you do is go to the courthouse and get a license. No one asks you if you a sane, responsible person. Anyone can get married. There should be a session with lie detector tests for each person. That would take care of a lot of problems right there. Because I thought I knew everything about Kenneth when we got married, but soon found out what I knew was a show. An act. I'm not saying every moment of our marriage was terrible, but I can say that I knew what it felt like to be in a loveless marriage after a few years. That's worse than any alone I've ever felt.

You know what is incredibly ironic? In court on Tuesday, the judge came in and had Kenneth and I swear in to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, and you know what we had to say in response? I do. Pretty ironic that the words that began our marriage were the same words that ended it.

I have many wonderful friends here, and two of my good friends, Katie & Nicki, wanted to come with the me to the courthouse. Nicki ended up not being able to come. Which was probably a better choice than being arrested for child neglect if she left her children alone in their house. :-) So, good choice, Nicki! Katie came with me and was a total life-saver. I'm so thankful I had a friend with me. When we got to the courthouse waiting room, Kenneth was already there and it was just him and us. Talk about uncomfortable. He never acknowledged me the entire time we were there. Where he was seated, we could either sit and face him or not, so we chose not to face him, of course, but he could watch us and sat and listened to our conversations (which he admitted to me later). But I didn't care. To have such a good friend with me gave me strength and courage. Eventually, at least an hour later, Kenneth's attorney came out and got him and there is no other word to describe this guy than cocky. Okay, I can think of some other words, but I'm trying to keep this clean! ;-) My attorney came out a few minutes later to get me. I'm so blessed that I have such an awesome attorney. She has told me "off the record" more than once that she really likes and me and really really wants the best for me. That's a good feeling. She was very professional and took charge of everything.

I didn't have to say much, except of course, I do. But I also had to say out loud that I did not contest the divorce that Kenneth filed for. They asked me if I thought this decision was in my best interest and I said that it was. Kenneth looked incredibly depressed and sad the whole time. I didn't feel sorry for him, because this was his choice, but I was glad that he at least felt the seriousness of the situation.

When it was over, I felt relief and freedom mixed with sadness. Not necessarily sadness over Kenneth, but where my life had led to. The day was surreal. A day I never, in all my life, thought I'd see. So here I am, a divorcee'. A title I never thought I'd have. (Doesn't it sound kind of risque'? - I'm scandalous)

Moving on, I really just wanted to write all that down because I needed to, but honestly and truly, I am happy. I'm relieved it's over and feel like I can more easily move on with my life. I'm excited about what's out there ahead of me! Graduating from college, watching my children grow in God, building a house of my own, getting a teaching job, and maybe finding love. Who knows that the future holds? Only God. I'm just going to keep trusting Him to keep holding me in His hands.