Phew!

I'm feeling better today. Yes, there is still much to deal with, but my roller coaster is on the up right now, and I'm feeling okay. I bought a new book yesterday called "My Single Mom Life" by Angela Thomas and it is really great! Very honest, but uplifting. Thanks so much to all of you for your encouragement! I also had meant to say thanks yesterday in my blog to Katie for giving me gum and tissues at church on Sunday when I couldn't hold it together, and for sitting next to me! It was a tough day and I just couldn't stop my brain from going through all of my emotions. And you are right, Betsy - my kids & I will be okay! One of the reasons I bought a new book was because the one I bought last week called "Single Moms Raising Remarkable Boys" was written from a non-Christian perspective and while it definitely has lots of good advice and information, I believe that I have an advantage over that lady, because I have God on my side. (oh my word, my son is learning to read and just walked up and read part of my last sentence - I'm going to have to be careful when he's in the room!) I believe that God can fill the "dad-shaped-hole" in my kids hearts and the "husband-shaped-hole" in mine! Plus, I have the advantage of having very involved grandparents! They really have extra parents right now instead of less! ;-) So there you go. I never would have chosen single-mom-hood, but I will do my best, and with God's help, I know I will have success!

Here is a quote from my new book that I love:

I want to live an amazing life, even while raising these four kids alone. I don't want to wait until they are grown to become the best version of me. I want them to have that kind of mom now. They deserve the very best version of family that I can wrap a house around.

What if they could see in me no bitterness, ongoing healing, and a God-sized restoration? What if our home was the hub of activity for their friends? And we had parties and asked people over for dinner and invited the visiting missionary to stay in our spare room? What if we just acted like we're normal instead of focusing on what we're not? I think that a mom with a passionate, amazing life might just be the best foundation for kids to grow up healthy, educated, and wise.

So why focus on the bad, when I can focus on the good? I'm actually quite good at that, so hopefully I can continue to do that! Thanks for the love, guys! I love all of you!