How Are You, Cathy? Glad You Asked!

So It's been a while since I've posted about how I'm doing. I've had a few people ask me lately what's up, so here I am. Well, I'm surviving! Life goes on! And here I am, with my life going on. And I can choose to be constantly angry, bitter, and resentful for the turn my life has taken, or I can choose to look on the positive side, allow myself moments of anger, get over them, and not let them overtake me, and realize how blessed I am! I choose the latter! Life is still good! I'm still smiling. I'm still laughing. I'm still enjoying my children and my friends and my family! And yes, there are moments in my life that suck! But I'm choosing to get past that, and enjoy the good ones! Like today - we had MOPS today, which I always enjoy, and I was thrilled to send my happy children to their classes and enjoy a cup of coffee and sit and hear about gardening. It was a very relaxing meeting and I love gardening, so I enjoyed hearing about it! I know this is going to sound crazy, but I actually love to weed gardens. Now maybe I wouldn't love it if I had to do it everyday, but I do really love to weed. I love to get my hands dirty and feel like I'm accomplishing something! It is very relaxing to me. We decorated wreaths at MOPS too, although I don't think that was something I excelled at, but oh well. I can't be great at everything, right? ;-) After MOPS I met my two great friends, Katie & Nicki at McDonald's and we all had a great chat while the kids all played. After we had been there a while, Kenneth picked up the kids for the night and I was on my own! Luckily, Katie invited me over to her house, because my alone time is when I start to get depressed. I used to LOVE to be alone, but when you are alone because you have just turned over your children to a man you don't trust, it's a struggle to be alone. So anyway, I went to Katie's house and we sat in rockers on her front porch and drank coffee and talked and laughed and I had such a great time!!! We sat there for 3 and a half hours I think and the time just flew by! It is so great to be with a friend whom you can be yourself with! After that I met my mom for a salad and then we came home and took a walk. I just needed to be out in the fresh air a little longer! Then this evening I did a computer project for my dad and then worked on my knitting. I am so excited. I feel like I accomplished so much tonight! I'm still a fairly new knitter, so I am very proud to say that I completely finished a project of firsts. It was the first time I made a hat. The hat was my first project on circular needles. Finishing the hat was the first time I had used 4 double-sided needles. And this is the first project where I followed a pattern! OH - This was also my first project that I used Purl on! HOORAY! I know these things may not seem like a big deal, but they are to me! Now I feel like I can take on something more challenging! Thanks so much to Dawn for teaching me and helping me purchase the right needles! ;-) Love you!

Okay, so now that you know I'm okay, I'm going to share with you something that I've been struggling with lately. So I went to Tennessee for a visit and it was great. A little too great. It was really hard for me to come back. I truly feel like Tennessee is my home and I did not want to leave. I lived there for 12 years, and since I'm 35 years old, that's pretty much my adult life. Driving around down there, I almost forgot that I had left. I had to stop myself from driving "home" a few times. In Tennessee I am my own person. I moved down there and started my life, and my friends there are family to me. My church there is family to me. I love it there. Here I often feel like Chuck and Paulette Sauders' daughter. And it feels even more like that since the kids and I have moved in with them. I know this is a temporary situation, and please know that I am SO COMPLETELY grateful to them! I could not be getting through this difficult time without them, and they have made it very easy for me to feel at home here again, but I think everyone could understand that as a 35 year old and as a parent, it is pretty difficult to go back to being the child again. I so look forward to finishing college so that I can have more options. Who knows where I'll be in 2 years? I may be deciding to build a house here in Warsaw, or I may be deciding to move back to Tennessee. Or I may be deciding to live somewhere totally different. Only God knows what my future holds for me and my kiddos, but the here and now is sometimes a challenge. Please pray that I will learn to be content in this part of my life. It IS temporary and the kids are absolutely loving living here. It is a great place to raise kids! Lots of room, lots of land, lots of toys, and lots of love! Thanks to everyone who has been praying! Love you!