First Court Date

Yesterday morning was my first court hearing. Apparently they don't make you go before a judge unless you request it or you come to an impasse in negotiation. I arrived at 8:45 am and when I got there Kenneth was already there. He did not acknowledge me and sat there looking at his laptop. We were both sitting in the waiting room and I just kept thinking how crazy it all was. A year ago we were living in Tennessee getting ready to put our house on the market and everything was okay and here we were yesterday sitting in the courthouse in the same waiting room and he couldn't or wouldn't even look at me! The more I thought about that, the more it was hard not to tear up. I was so nervous and kept praying and repeating Psalm 121 over and over in my head. Then I starting singing a song in my head from Veggie Tales! I'm sure when they wrote that song they never thought it would give a grown woman strength through her divorce! It's from Esther and it goes, "The battle is not ours. We look to God above. For He will guide us safely through and guard us with His love. I will not be afraid. I will not run and hide, for there is nothing I can't face when God is on my side." That song really helped me. I sat up a bit straighter knowing that God truly is on my side. If anyone should have been nervous, it should have been Kenneth, not me.

So anyway, Kenneth's lawyer came out and called him back to a room and then later my lawyer came out and called me back to a room and basically we just went back and forth with them coming up with a paper that he signed with a child support number, and then I came up with some other money issues which she wrote up and took to his lawyer. Apparently that really ticked him off and he wouldn't sign off on it, so we have some more negotiating to do. I just need to get some paperwork together for proof. Anyway, it was definitely interesting. You want to know the craziest part? The lawyers went ahead and scheduled the final hearing for June 3rd which means that on June 3rd, Kenneth & I will be officially divorced. I can't believe that. It's only 2 months away! It seems crazy that it would take that short of time. So I have to try to think of everything I can and document everything I can so that we will be settled by then. Anyway, thank you all for your prayers. It is very overwhelming. And very sad. I'm seeing even more of the true colors, which are not so pretty and that makes me sad. I can't imagine how sad it must make God!

Wanted to type out Psalm 121 (it's one of my favorites):
"I look up to the mountains - does my help come from there?
My help comes from the Lord, who made the heavens and the earth!
He will not let you stumble and fall; the One who watches over you will not sleep.
Indeed, He who watches over Israel never tires and never sleeps.
The Lord Himself watches over you!
The Lord stands beside you as your protective shade.
The sun will not hurt you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord keeps you from all evil and preserves your life.
The Lord keeps watch over you as you come and go, both now and forever."